Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
