apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
