mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
