At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize