do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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