How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize