I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight