party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.