doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.