i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked