I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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