I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize