oh god the rape fog is back!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
