Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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