I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
