i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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