Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
