Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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