To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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