No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
