I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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