We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
