Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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