i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
