So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
