you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
