Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
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Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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