Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
