Kiss
Puke
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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