So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
