I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
