I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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