Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
