so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
