Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How naked do you want me to be?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
