I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Congratulations! We have a period
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