Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
