Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
