Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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