i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
