you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
