ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
