I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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