Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
