Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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