I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize