guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize