I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize