So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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