we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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