This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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