I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
this will be a night to untag.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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