hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
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when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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