i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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