Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize