i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
