thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
