My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
