I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
